uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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