tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
