just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
