That's intense
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
