pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
