Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
3pm strippers are depressing
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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