the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I touched a dick in church today
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
He shit in the fireplace
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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