Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
