New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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