I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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