if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
