he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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