I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I have aggressive nipples.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
