people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
