I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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