I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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