i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
