Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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