But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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