And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
