Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
