No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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