So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
