Someone shit on the floor
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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