either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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