i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
