Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
