I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
