the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
