Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
