Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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