You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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