have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
