their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
wanna go halves on a baby?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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