and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
