she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm passing your future prison.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
