guys are not supposed to queef...right?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
