I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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