guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
