so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
