A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Blood and glitter go together right?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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