No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
