would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
