It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
