Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
