I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
