i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
