I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
