She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
