okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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